A Bevy of Beauties Ripe from the Bible

Potiphar’s Life

Sexily, peskily,
P’s wife purred ‘Play with me … ‘
Angered when Joe fled, she
furiously wailed

‘Hubby! Joe touched me, and
lascivideviously
wanted his way with me!’
(Poor Joe got jail).



Why It’s Not a Cool Idea to Let your Wife Take a Bath on the Roof Patio

Goggle-eyed, boggle-eyed,
Dave saw Bathsheba rise
out of her bubble-bath
showing her all.

‘Rub Hubby out!’ quoth he,
‘Unjustifiably!’
Uriah was clobbered, and
Dave got the gal.



My, My, My!

Shiftily, niftily,
Dee-li-lah craftily
snipped with her scissors and
cut off his curls.

Consequence? Lover Boy
unceremoniously
hot-pokered eyeless
by Philistine churls.



How to get Ahead

Swivvily, dizzily
gyrated Sal-o-me.Herod was pleased with her,
granted a wish.

‘What should I ask for, Mum?’
Jawchamynuffernmun!
Baptist John’s bonce, for me!
Dumped in a dish!’




(From ‘Of Goddesses and Women’ )